Launched Into Life

My decision to become a Baha'i on March 2, 1970, while I was 17 and a senior in High School, changed everything! I had already been accepted at Northwest Nazarene College, but I knew I couldn't go there with my new religion and survive. I hastily applied and was accepted at Washington State University.

That summer I got on a bus with a lot of other Baha'i youth from the Pacific Northwest, and came to a Baha'i Youth Conference in Chicago. It was 1970, and the Sears Tower was still being built. I was truly a slack-jawed kid from Walla Walla, as I experienced this city for the first time. I had no idea that my decision to become a Baha'i would bring me to live in this amazing city five years later.

That summer was life-changing in another way . . . teenage hormones took hold, and I had sex for the first time! She was gorgeous, "liberated" (a term we used back then to denote a free spirit), had lived abroad for a year and spoke fluent French, wore her hair in a short pixie cut, and went by the nickname "Willie." I lost my virginity with a girl named Willie! How prophetic!

Willie moved out from her parents' house that summer, and moved into an apartment just a few blocks from my house. My mother was caught up in her own new relationship that summer, and I spent a lot of time with Willie. I was head over heels in love, but before the summer was over she broke up with me and started dating a guy from Thailand. I was crushed on the one hand, but somewhat relieved to be able to get back to living in chastity, which my new religion prescribed before marriage. I threw myself wholeheartedly into learning more about Baha'i and into my preparations for going to college.

My Baha'i teachers were Emmalu and Dorothy, sisters who had been Baha'is since the early days of the Faith in the United States. Emmalu liked to sit up all night, playing scrabble and smoking cigarettes, and since I had a night job at the local cannery I would hang out with Emmalu on my free nights, soaking up her fabulous stories and amazing knowledge.

Emmalu and Dorothy were my spiritual mothers, and they taught me how to look beyond the surface facts to search for the spiritual principles that apply in every situation. I credit them for fanning the flame of my new faith, and for launching me into a life that I could never have imagined possible just a few months earlier.

Making A Decision

Isn't that the way anything gets done? From laundry to war, someone somewhere makes a decision that starts a ball rolling to get something accomplished. Before the decision is made, a world of options lead to limitless outcomes. I once heard: "A wise man is he who can see the end in the beginning." I think I'm getting better at following choices through to their logical conclusion, but I would never presume to don the mantle of a "wise man." What I can do very well is look back and trace how my decisions have lead me to my current path, and be guided by what I learn in making future choices.


Growing up in Walla Walla, Washington, I wasn't taught to make decisions. For that matter, independent thinking was discouraged. My parents were Christian fundamentalists, and I was taught not to question or go against what I was told to do. My first real important decision came at the age of 17. That was when I heard about, and investigated the Baha'i Faith with my best friend, David Simmons.

I found a diverse and loving community that encouraged "independent investigation of truth." I rejoiced to hear (after many fire-and-brimstone sermons to the contrary) that there was no literal heaven or hell. My provincial outlook was broadened to a global horizon. I learned about the equality of men and women, and the eliminiation of prejudices of all kinds. I agreed that all religions are one in essence, and that they have been the catalysts for progress in an ever-advancing civilization. I made a decision to join the Baha'i Faith, and it was absolutely life-changing!

Dan Starts A New Blog

Hi folks:

I've had some experience with blogging, having posted lots of blog entries during my travels. You can see them at: http://www.travelpod.com/members/wareameye. But those blogs relate day-to-day travel experiences, and are more factual than introspective.

I've set up this blog as a place to journal what's going on with me in my day-to-day life. It has been inspired by my good friend, Dan Orey, who recently started a blog to channel his feelings after having his administrative rights removed as a member of the Baha'i Community subsequent to marrying his life mate, Milton, in California. You can read Dan Orey's blog at: http://revolked2.blogspot.com/2009/05/welcome.html.

I was a very active Baha'i from 1970 to 1985, when my rights were also removed for a homosexuality that I could no longer successfully (or healthily) keep hidden in the camouflage of married life. My shame and remorse during that period took me down an ever more self-destructive path, but I am fortunate to have emerged a stronger, more centered and spiritually healthy person than when I was merely going through the motions of religious fervor.

Not everyone has been so lucky. I know many gay Baha'is who committed suicide, or died from drug overdoses or AIDS. That could have been my path too. As painful as my road has been, I would not change one thing because it has led me to where I am today -- and I am truly blessed with a full and rich life.

I'm happy to share with you here what I am learning about life as I toddle on down the road. I'm glad to be on the journey with you!